World Cup Premonitions

These are my predictions for the upcoming WC. Submitted it to ESPN and am waiting to here back any day now for a contract and $$.


Group A:
France
Mexico

(France shouldn't even be in the WC, and they just lost a friendly against China...or Korea or something, but they are very talented, and Henry is really young, and Ribery looks like he's melting, but they are dank! Mexico has been kicking Messe's scrotum around the pitch lately and recently beat Italy like 20-0 in a friendly. Look for the Arsenal bench-warming future star who will probably transfer to a Spanish or Italian league team in two years, Carlos Vela, to make a mark.)
Group B
Argentina
Greece

(The only people who want Argentina to win are in love with Messi, Che Guevara or are from Buenos Aires, but they are good and, along with Messi, they have a famous coach and a midfielder who goes by the name of Maxi Padriguez, so look out.)

Group C
England
USSA

Forgive me for not taking the US seriously, because I don't. But just in case, I'm going to pick them out team spirit. England is one of my favorites to make it to the final. If America doesn't put up a good showing against England, my confidence will cede faster than Donovan's hairline, and look for the Slovs to make it to the next round.

Group D
Germany
Serbia

Germany always plays good when it matters. Trust me. I know a grip about soccer.
The Serbs will take care of the Aussies and Ghana.

Group E
Holland
Denmark

The Dutch are going far on the left foot of Robin Van Persie and co. The Danes are popping off pretty hard, too.

Group F
Italy
Paraguay

Two thumbs way down for the existence of the Italian team.

Group G
Brazil
Portugal

Brazil is my pick to win it all.
Would've picked Ivory coast, but Didier "spill their blood" Drogba is hurt, so...who really cares.

Group H
Spain
Chile

Spain is crazy good. But they are short and have permanent 5 o'clock shadows, and I know a few people who are way too in love with them, but, kudos to talent.
Chile is apparently frivolously good.